Welcome Home

I have been a soul who yearned to know herself through others

Lovers like cracked mirrors each reflecting back a piece of me, but not the whole

I spun myself a cocoon constructed of external validation, and have come to realize that all these years I’ve been having an unrequited love affair with Self

You’ve been elusively hiding behind the eyes of another, whose love, affection, and gifts would never  satiate an appetite that seeks to know heaven as it is on Earth

No wonder when I held his gaze so tightly when we made love his eyes turned black and our love connection broke

It all cracked under the pressure of desperately needing him to see me so I could see mySelf

Since then, my love has sent me on the greatest journey of my life

I honor his wise resistance 

He forced me into silence so that I could actually learn to listen to the messages that have surrounded me all along

Spirit speaks to us if we are willing to listen

It speaks to us in passing moments, we tune in, but then we choose to tune out because an angel's song on Earth makes the knees grow weak and the heart break

We then, in fear, choose the solidity of concrete to the ephemeral heavens

Yet I choose to be the tree whose roots sink deep down into the Earth with branches that reach for the heavens

No longer being the center of attention I was able to place my attention

No longer able to control, my only choice was to surrender

I unraveled myself from the confines of my cocoon using the sacred thread of attention

I didn't need to travel to the Trattorias of Rome, the Ashrams of India, nor the beaches of Bali

I ate, I prayed, and I loved without ever leaving

With the acceptance of God's grace I welcomed my Self home