Searching for Self through My Ancestors

In the Yoruba tradition great emphasis is placed on ancestor worship. It's about developing an understanding about your ancestors so you know who to pray to and who to pray for. Ancestor work is meant to be a tool to understand yourself and to free yourself from generational pathology.

I've recently started working with Kalila Borghini a licensed psychotherapist and practitioner of Yoruba. http://www.childofthestones.com/ and we are framing our sessions in terms of ancestor work. The little that we have done together has been great and it has inspired in me a great curiosity to know where I came from a desire that I have long had but have also long postponed. As my parents age and I begin to come to terms with their mortality time is of the essence to know myself though my ancestors.

I wish I could go back in time and have asked the right questions or have actually really listened to the stories but there is no use in wishing for that. All I can do is work with what I have.

After today's session I realized that I have taken for granted the fact that I think this information will always be around for me. She was asking me what is like for my dad to grow up during the depression and I honestly had no answer. He must have told me stories. I'm not sure I was listening or back then perhaps I just didn't know what to listen for.

Our life stories are precious. The life stories of those who came before us are precious and they are such rich tools to understanding the Self.

I look forward to many conversations with my family who I am still blessed to have and I hope through them that I am able to better understand my ancestry and know for whom I should pray and to whom I should pray.

On the Path

In meditation when a thought enters your mind you aren't supposed to be all judgmental and feel ashamed that you haven't reached yogi transcendence, you just realize that for the past ten minutes you have been making to do lists, let that go and continue with following your breath. So here once again, I will let go of the fact that the last time I wrote in this was way over a year ago and I will just pick back up without any judgment and continue following my key strokes.

Since my first introduction to plant medicines in October 2009,  I  have been on a spiritual trajectory. While always being spiritual, I'm now at a point where I'm trying to create a spiritual practice that aligns my life with my spirituality.

The path seems to be illuminated and it almost feels as if this spiritual path is unfolding before my eyes. It's as if I have my own internal compass that seems to know where to direct even if I'm not conscious of it. It's a time of expansion.

I can't say I know where its taking me. According to June Brought http://www.akashicjune.com/Blank.html who channels the Akashic Records my spiritual path is the practice of joy and play. It is those things that align me with the divine. It's dance and music and play.

And that answer resonates me.  This summer I was in Havana, Cuba and I was honestly transported to a different realm through the playing of the congas, bata drums, and chanting. It felt as if I was in ceremony. It just hit me in this gutteral place. The orisas were so powerful. It's a creation story that resonates with me and I want to know more about the orisas.

I've since been doing reading on Orisas, Yoruba and Santeria Religion and most recently I have been told about Umbanda and Templo Guaracy http://www.temploguaracy.org.br/ and I think I've found a philosophy that completely aligns with my beliefs. Now that I know something is out there it's time to explore it more deeply.

Whether this path leads to initiation into Umbanda doesn't really matter. It's that feeling of connection that is truly the blessing. If ayahuasca has taught me anything it's that you never really arrive anywhere. So I continue to walk this path in faith of the path itself and not really where it leads. May it be a path towards the light.

Ache!

You Are....

To see you with new eyes

was worth all of the pain

To see you in all your beauty

and in all of your wisdom

Was worth all of the sorrow

She took off the mask

let in the light

And showed me your radiant being

You are a teacher

And she allowed me to be your student

You are a caregiver

And she allowed me to receive your nurturance

You are a rhythm maker

And she allowed your beat to enter and move my body

You are love

And she allowed me to be In love.

Gracias Madrecita