Who Do I Want to Welcome Me Home?

Below is taken from my morning pages which was written on April 20, 2014.  It was written after having looked at the front door of our home and sensing the potenciality and possibilities. I then asked myself “Who do I want to welcome me home?”

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You are a beautiful woman.  Sun kissed with wavy hair. You are wearing a dress that is loose  yet holds to the curves of your feminine body.  You radiate from the inside out.  You care for yourself physically.  You are comfortable in your own skin because you take care of yourself. You exercise through a consistent mix of dance, running, swimming, hiking, and a bit of biking and yoga. You are also physically active outside. You eat healthy and when possible locally sourced foods. You build relationships with the people who provide for your sustenance.

Around the farm, you aren’t afraid of getting your hands dirty.  You learned to garden though you prefer pulling weeds.  You can do some basic repair jobs and aren’t intimidated by your surroundings. You know that you have the resources both internally and externally to provide for yourself and others. The land has taught you many things.  You don’t fear silence.  You enjoy it because you live your life with certainty of your basic goodness.  

You’ve developed a relationship with nature that you could have never imagined.  You talk to the trees and the plants.  You play in nature.  You enjoy taking walks and meandering through the woods alone, with your dog, and with Joe.  Sometimes on warm nights you sleep in your hammock under the stars.  You feel safe and your senses are alive.  

You are a bit of a pioneer woman. You try many things like canning, making preserves, etc.  You sometimes fail at it but you do it anyway because you know that perfection lies inside so you give yourself the freedom to play. You know that to do things well takes disciple, so though you may play and dabble, you choose your creative passions carefully and consciously.

Creatively, you sing uninhibitedly alone and with others. You and Joe create music together. You like to make music using your looper. You and Joe host a monthly barn jam and other events which has become a center of community gathering.  You play together and individually and people of all ages come to share in music and dance.  The music is eclectic and varied.  People come and feel immediately at home.  It’s a timesless space.  You have hosted many weddings at your property and have helped people to create unique ceremonies and events that represent them.

You have good friends both locals and city folks. You have become well known and liked and are an active community member. You create change one relationship at a time and are involved socially and politically.

At your deepest core you are an educator. You have found a way to merge your talents and abilities.  You work with youth in a variety of capacities.  You lead circe cinginging with youth of all ages. You’ve created a course on improvisation as a mindful practice.  You infuse singing, theater games, writing and play as a way of connecting to soul.

You are growing as a leader in the field of social, emotional learning.  You train other educators. You still volunteer to teach ESL to adults in the community. It provides you with incredible joy.

You have learned the beauty and wisdom of simplicity. When life gets overwhelming you know the answers lie in simplification.

You and Joe still travel, yet the need to run and seek adventure aren’t a necessity.  You have learned to run wildily in your hearts so that when you travel, you travel in a spirit of contentment.

When family has needed you, youv’e been there. You didn't run from pain.  You chose lover over fear and forgivness over resentment.

You and Joe became parents.  You are a mother.  You are conscious and loving.  You invited a child into the world with the only intention of parenting them in a way that you know is best.  You hope to offer them the tools to lead a meaningful life.  

Preganancy was spent in awe of the miracle of life.  You breathed through fear and took comfort in the leagacy of wisdom from all of the mothers that came before you. You trusted your natural instincts knowing that you are a part of the natural world.

Joe played the charango to your growing belly and as the baby grew, Joe's fears began to disapate as he saw this a natural step in the process of life.  

You gave birth at home at the farm with Mimi, Chuck and members of your soul family. You found strength in you that was fiercely powerful.  It was creation. It was life.  Joe was enamored with your power and you were enamored with his confidence, calm, and abiding presence.  When he heard your baby’s first cry it broke open his heart.

This child reminds everyone about the importance of life, family, and connection. You have dinners at your beautiful farm table. You are blessed at seeing the juxtaposition of the beginning and the end of the circle of life. You are blessed to see your parents eyes light up with their roles as grandparents.  You give thanks.  Your heart is full and you are present with the cycles of life that are in continual motion.  

You love yourself and others and gratitude is your medicine.